I just ran with the Niketown Running Club of Chicago yet again and I have to say “I loves me some Nike!” You may now be thinking “wait a second, Nike is overpriced and they run sweatshops” to which I will reply “kind sir, I am an American, and if a gigantic multinational sweatshop loving corporation wants to give me free stuff it is my duty to take it with a wide consumer driven smile.”

Ok so I was reaching with that last one but I’m not kidding that I do enjoy free stuff. Today Nike had a ‘sock demo’ which thankfully involved new socks (as yet unreleased to the general public) that we got to keep.


The socks are called Nike Fit Dry Dry-Fit 2.0 for Elite Runners – this was actually the shortest name the marketing team could conjure without setting a conference room on fire. The socks are clearly marked L and R for (drum roll) your left and right feet. I can’t make light of this fact since I paid good money for a similar pair by Brooks some months ago.

The pseudo-science behind these socks, well, knocked my socks off. Sorry about that pun, I threw up a little in my mouth as I typed it… Back to the pseudo-science…

It seems the socks employ some sort of aerodynamic enhancement over your everyday running sock and even over the bare human foot! The kind gentleman from Nike Corporate took us over his demo with bold claims like “it will make you 2% faster, we tested it in our labs” and “these socks take your running game from ‘real’ to ‘ideal’” … um, yeah, sure. I fought with all my might asking the slam dunk oh-no-you-dit-int question on the tip of my tongue, “You realize that socks go inside running shoes right? I don’t plan on wearing these socks without any accompanying footwear so how again do aerodynamics play into the equation?”

Instead I just smiled, nodded, and put on my new free socks. Turns out they felt good, slipped around some in my shoe, and helped me run three 8:05 miles. So for free socks I give them a B+ but for socks you’ll have to pay $9 per pair for I’m thinking a C-.

If any representative or overall Nike fanboy is reading this post, please don’t turn me in and cut me off from the free stuff gravy train. I only have to run 97 more miles until I’m eligible for a free t-shirt!*

*(That last sentence was not a joke, and did I mention I enjoy free stuff?)